The Value of a Penny

"Find a penny pick it up, then all day you'll have good luck!"
How many of us grew up reciting this cute phrase as we joyfully reached for the shiny, copper coin sitting at our feet? As children, that penny is seen as a small token that later will be dropped into a piggy bank to join the others. While that penny is often seen as worthless in the eyes of our society, some will see it as valuable.

Yesterday, as I was loading up my car to head back to Huntington, I looked down to see a penny. If you've ever been around me when I see a penny, my inner child beams with excitement while I bend over to retrieve the small treasure. But yesterday was different. I wasn't eager to collect my find. It was muddy, I was in a hurry, and face it, it's a penny. My attitude was telling me that in the scheme of life that penny wouldn't be worth much at all.

Despite my circumstance and negative thinking, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. As I reached down for it, something dawned on me. Does God see me as I see this penny? Dirty, worthless, and insignificant? As a hassle to claim?

As I held the penny in my palm, I took a minute to look at it and answer my question. Grace set aside, I am seen as dirty, worthless, and insignificant; but without any hesitation, God picks me up, dusts me off, and places me in His hand, as a treasure He has plans to use.

The story and comparison doesn't end here. I placed the penny in my pocket, still pondering, when while I was taking another load to my car, the penny fell from my pocket directly into the mud beside my tire. The connection hit me again:

No matter how many times I fall from God's hand and direction, He is always so willing to pick me up, show me grace, and set me back on the path of His righteousness. In his eyes I am His daughter, His daughter who He has shown mercy and redemption. His daughter which He has plans to use for His glory. His daughter who has no reason to have worth, but who He finds unexplainable value and love in.

Unlike a human response to the value of a penny, God gives his immeasurable love to His sons and daughters. He rescues us when we are lost and carries us with Him until we reach the finish line as holy and pure. He sees value in our lives and purpose in our steps.

I encourage each of you to trust in Him and allow Him to guide your life. In the scale of His God-sized plans, you may seem small, but we serve a God who is mighty and purposeful; allow Him to clean you up and treasure you for life.

The Oxford English Dictionary and Jesus

Being the geeky English major I am, the Oxford English Dictionary and I are best friends. That being said, it provides me with definitions to all things literary and all things life-y (I am aware this is not a word; my blog, my rules :) ) The OED defines the word sufficient as, "
= to provide for the needs or accommodation of, to satisfy (a person or animal)" (proof). So, one should find sufficiency in things such as food, sex, and alcohol, right? That's what the world tells us so that MUST be true. Ladies and gents, I don't believe that is at all what the definition of sufficient is. If you would, let me explain my thoughts and reasons.

First off, almost four months ago God blessed me with an incredible fella who courageously ask me if he was "worthy enough to be my man". In the time we have been together Justin has brought me back to the heart and core of my faith; the love of Jesus.

Jesus is the definition of sufficient.

I've wasted hours, days, weeks, months, and years trying to satisfy void with the things of this world, leaving me continuously frustrated and hopeless in their lack of worth. I knew Jesus and God's love is all that I needed; I truly KNEW that, but did I ever TRUST in that? No. I didn't. I'd wake up and go throughout my day, trying to make my own decisions keeping God aware that I appreciated the thought of His help, but there are people out there who need Him more than me. I was fine. As long as I went to church, prayed, and was a good girl then I was doing what I was supposed to. I couldn't have been farther from the Truth.

Maybe one day it hit me and I just didn't realize it until weeks of feeling immense joy and love radiate from my soul. Through this time God has made it blatantly aware to me that JESUS IS SUFFICIENT. I need nothing else in this world and thinking otherwise would sound as if Christ's death and resurrection wasn't enough.

I used to work at GNC and stressed to customers that a multi-vitamin was the first step, and necessary, when participating in any workout and/or diet plan. This is because it fills in the gaps of poor American diets and allows for our bodies to run smoother and excel farther. Jesus is the core and foundation, obviously far,far more important than an over-priced vitamin, of all things in life. Without TRUSTING He is sufficient nothing else can build and grow to be more like Him.

Also, Jesus is the gap-filler. There is a hole in each of our hearts. A hole of heartbreak, a hole of deceit, a hole of depression. A hole that can only be filled with the overflowing love and sacrifice of Jesus. Until you try and wrap your mind around that and surrender the void to Him, I'm not sure that you will ever find the true meaning of sufficient joy and love.

I have no theological degree and I don't preach over a church, but I do have a faith and a God that can do immeasurably more than we could ever dream(Eph. 3:20).

One last thing, Paul writes to the church of Colossea, "the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord's people. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory" (Col.1;26,27).

Christ was the mystery. He and His hope, glory, love, and sacrifice has been revealed. Trust in these and learn the true definition of sufficienct.

He. Is. Enough.

CI350 Blog. Aka My Rant on the Fact We Need to Push High School Students

This blog started as a blog for my senior English class. Now, in my junior year of college, I'm writing a blog for yet another class. It has to be on my opinion of something in education and involved in my end of the semester Unit Plan. That Unit Plan happens to be on the writing process, so here we go.

I strongly believe students should be more challenged in their writing abilities in high school. When I was in 9th grade, I remember having an English teacher practically use an entire red pen on one of my research papers. At the time I was disgusted. How dare she do that?! That paper was golden?! Now, I'd be mortified to go back and see what I thought was "A" material. Six years later I am so thankful for the criticism I received.

These days in education, we are failing to provide the correct constructive criticism to students. Instead, educators try their best to not step onto toes and encourage the child with false compliments rather than showing them how they can improve. Does this sound harsh? Why yes, it probably does. "How dare she think we should bash our students!" Not what I'm saying at all. This is how I hope my classroom will operate. Disclaimer: I know I have  A LOT to learn about education...no need to tell me.

In the classroom we have to remember to grade to the childs' expected ability due to their age and maturity. I'm not going to grade my 9th graders' papers to the same level of a 12th grader's paper. That would be so unjustified. Rather, I will mark the paper to the high heavens and at the end of the paper focus on their strengths and give them the grade they earned based on the outline of grading provided for them at the start. Time is limited when it comes to a teacher and student schedule, but I believe there should be some sort of paper conference to ensure the student understand what they should improve on. Also, there will be a second re-write opportunity given to the student to try and up their grade.

If we continue to be easy graders the students will not improve. Majority will simply do what is the bare minimum to get by. They're teenagers for goodness sakes. By the time a high school student graduates they should be ready to enter English 101 at the collegiate level and it be more a refining and refresher course rather than time to learn what is expected in their six-page paper due for another course.

Maybe I expect too much out of students. But really, I think that it is current teachers don't expect enough.

May 13, 2012

Today was a day I'll never forget and will rank in the top most amazing days of my life. Today I was baptized in the ocean at BCM Beachweek.
I've literally been in church since being in the womb. I grew up in Christian school associating my A's with angels, B's with Bethlehem, and C's with Christ but didn't truly understand what it meant to accept the love and grace of Christ into my heart until I was 11. At this time, there was no definite place for me to outwardly express this with baptism. I knew that God and I were on the same page as to knowing the perfect time would come.
The issue of baptism weighed heavy on my mind all through high school and followed me into college. In October the Holy Spirit convicted my heart to get baptized out of obedience in my faith. I went to my campus minister, Adam, and we began to discuss options.
As I continued to pray for an opportunity, one arose. I then tried to make things happen in my own time but the Lord showed me I need to rely on Him and His timing. That being said, that opportunity did not happen.
I was broken hearted but knew that God had a plan. I know we've all heard that three million times, but it is so, so true. Adam then came to me yesterday and ask if I would like to be baptized in the ocean at our last service of the week.
I prayed about the opportunity, called my mom, and knew in my heart that this was the time. My momma said the most amazing thing to me after I told her, despite the fact she'd be absent: "Thank you for giving me the most amazing Mother's Day present"; shows the importance of baptism not only for the Lord and myself, but even for my family.
This morning the rain starting coming down, the sun went behind the clouds, and Satan tried to do so many things to prevent me from following through with this crucial and exciting time in my faith. Adam and I met and in the midst of prayer he ask God for cooperating weather, and of course my God provided.
The last thing I wanted was for my friends to have to sit out on the beach in the rain. When six o'clock came, not only had the temperature warmed up, but the rain split on both sides of where we were sitting: not a drop fell on any of us. As Adam and I walked out into the waves (which I'm terrified of the ocean, btw) I can't even begin to say everything that was going through my head. I do remember Adam telling me to look at the waves as God's grace and how it continues to abound time and time again. The moment came when the waves were "just right" and I was dunked back and brought up out of the ocean.
The tears flowed as I walked back to the sand to be greeted by my brothers and sisters in Christ. I was given so many hugs by my friends who were there to witness this defining moment in my walk with Christ. I'd like to collectively thank each of ya'll.
I'm so excited that I've finally gotten to be obedient to the Lord. I've outwardly expressed the fact that I know I cannot reach my Heavenly home without the never ending grace of Jesus. I was born into this world a sinner and will continue to sin until I take my last breath, but everyday I will try my hardest to resemble Christ more and more. Today is the a new beginning and a huge leap in my walk with Christ. I cannot wait to see how the Lord guides and uses me for His glory. I live on this Earth to do nothing but that. There are times when I lose sight of the real reason I am given each day,but always have to come back to putting others before myself and loving with all I have for the sake of the one who promises me eternal life in His kingdom.
I thank the Lord for the opportunity He blessed me with and the group of people He provided to hold me accountable. I pray for each of you that you may find the goodness in a life serving Him. There is no promise of an easy road to travel down, but the joy of Him in your heart is unlike anything else in this entire world. You begin to see things from a different perspective and for a different purpose. I am blessed beyond belief, every day I realize that...more and more.

Katie Being Serious? Is This Real Life?

Anyone who knows even the fewest things about me is sure to know that this gal loooooves her some food. The other thing you'd probably know about me, in connection with that, is my love of health facts and exercise. But what you may not know about me is that those two things, they are the biggest struggles and sins in my life.

A health nut knows the magic equation for weight loss/management. It's simple: burn more calories than you consume. I am completely and 100% aware of this, but in my humility I'm here to tell you this equation is the hardest problem I've been trying to solve for a year now.

Y'all, food is my comfort. As the Jesus lovin' gal I am, I should find my comfort in God and Scripture, but what do I turn to? food. I shovel it in, knowing good and well that it's not the thing I should be doing. The entire time, bite after bite, I am feeling guilty, but ya know what else? I can't stop. I continue to eat and eat...and eat, it's like there's no shut off valve. Finally, after I've somehow stopped, that's when the guilt sets in. That's when the tears start to flow or the fork to mouth motion begins once again.

It's hard for me to talk about this, I mean I feel like I'm supposed to have it all together. But..I don't. I go through seasons; seasons where things are tough and it seems to be day after day, or I'll get back on track and the next day I've fallen to the wayside again. Then there are the seasons where I think I've conquered the beast. I've gotten it under control and I'm defeating the sin of addiction that consumes me- the idolization I have for food, the fact that I'm destroying my body with every binge session.

Unfortunately, the defeat doesn't start there. I, Katie Ann Ferrell, have some horrific body image issues. The binges and weight fluctuation only make it worse. I constantly inspect my reflection in the mirror to check on my progress, and the slightest bulge can set me in a downward spiral. Am I proud of this? Of course not! In fact, I've been thinking about writing a blog on this for a good ten months now but each time I've chickened out. Out of fear. Out of embarrassment. Finally, something in me has my fingers racing across my keyboard not worrying about the reaction from others, but rather admitting my weakness.

I never wanted anyone to know my struggles. I never want anyone to feel pity for me, or feel as if they have to compliment me to keep my self-esteem high. I don't need the people around me to do that, all I need is to know my God thinks that. But there again, is where I fall.

As I'm constantly comparing myself to the other girls around me: she's more tan than me, is my stomach flatter? man, I wish I had her legs- I'm loooonging for the acceptance of the world: not relying on the acceptance of my Father. Instead of worrying about how good I can look on the beach in a few weeks, I should be working even harder on conquering the sin and the feelings that control the thoughts and actions of my day. I should be digging into the Word to further my finding of my identity in Him. Instead, I'm belittling and mutilating the beautiful daughter He loves so much, me.

My friends, this is why I am writing this today. Sin is something you hide, it eats at you, it consumes you, it controls you. I want y'all to know I am going to try harder each and every day to defeat the destroyer. It's not easy, believe me, if it was, I would have conquered it last spring when the lack of self-control began. I'm also writing this because it's my passion to tell the females around me often that they.are.beautiful. We don't have to look like the girl in the magazine or the perfectly photoshopped woman our society sees and we believe we must strive for. I wouldn't wish this struggle or constant feeling of defeat on anyone, and those that feel it, whether it be for the same reasons I do or rather a different situation, I'd love to be praying for you as well. It's a battle every. day. Here lately, due to circumstances I cannot control, it's been even worse. But I always remind myself, tomorrow...tomorrow, is a new day. A new day in His Glory and grace. A new day to become a new you. I hope in my humility someone can find hope or comfort.

Also, this is probably beyond scattered, but my mind moves approximately 75,000 mph and my fingers can only type half that, so please bare with me. And unfortunately, I never take time much anymore to sit and blog, which is a shame. I get so much joy out of writing these. Hopefully, I can keep my word this time and provide updates and more blogs on the regular.

Y'all come back now (for updates), ya hear?

Day One!

First day of my Daniel fast, complete.

T'was quite the change from my old diet, and even a change from my Celiac's diet. First thing this morning I was presented with a free cup of hot chocolate. My first thought was "gluten?!" and my second was, oh wowzers, that's not on my list of things I can consume. Amazing how much I continue to take food for granted.

As I went throughout my day the hunger pangs got to me a bit, but nothing too extreme. Also, today was a mighty stressful day for me. I had a lot going on and not enough hours in a day to accommodate. Any other time I would have coped with this through eating whatever I could find. Not today though, today I sat and prayed.

Not to say I wouldn't pray when things get stressful any other day, but I replaced the energy I would have spent on finding something to eat, eating it, and then feeling guilty about the unnecessary and emotion based consumption with energy spent talking to the man above.

Not much to elaborate on from my day today...other than my day worked out just as it needed to. Funny how things like that happen after you've given your worries to God, right? As for the rest of my night? I'm about to relax and enjoy some time in the Word (and a book for English 350, not by choice.) Waiting to see what the Holy Spirit has to say to me. Goodnight y'all :)

Daniel 10:2-3

In 21 days I feel as if my life is going to be changed.

Starting tomorrow I will be embarking on my first Daniel fast. Click here for more info on what exactly this means.

Lately I have been going through a bit of a rut. One that has entailed some hardships and brought back my desire for comfort in food. I've been yearning for the Lord, wanting to draw nearer and nearer to Him; but it seemed as if I simply couldn't find a way to do so. I then heard a friend mention she had recently finished a Daniel fast...this sparked an interest in me.

Today as I was wallowing in my own self-pity, the Daniel fast came to mind. The more I researched, the more I felt convicted to fast. I prayed that my intentions were that of which they needed to be and came to the conclusion tomorrow will be the day I begin.

What do I expect to get out of this 21 days?

I want to the Holy Spirit to transform me. I want to be the closest I've ever felt to God. I want to turn to prayer more than EVER before, whenever things get rough. I want to get my priorities back in line. I want to release myself from the bondage of food. I want to take a step back and TRULY listen to what God's answers are to the questions I have been raising for quite some time. Can I say all of this will happen? No, I can't. Maybe all these things will...maybe more than I could ever imagine.

So, through lots of thought and consideration, tomorrow is the day. I also invite y'all along for the journey as I plan to blog each of the 21 days. On the account I will have more time because I will also be removing myself from social media (again, I know....) I feel like when disconnected from those areas of life, I become so much more in tune with what really matters. If you want my previous feelings on social networking, refer back to this blog.

So here we go! Strap yourselves in and keep all hands and feet inside the car at all times! The next 21 days are going to be quite the ride.